By Mathias G., DPO SQUAD Expert

Children are not like other internet users

Internet use has now become completely commonplace among children. What began for them as a tool for socializing and leisure has evolved to the point where, over the past year, it has become their tool for work and education.

However, this trivialization should not make us forget that children are not like other internet users. They constitute a specific audience due to their particular use of the internet, mobile devices, and social media, but also because of the specific risks associated with these practices.

In order to guarantee the best possible protection for children, without restricting them or arbitrarily confining them, we must first understand how they use the internet and the risks they encounter. Without this understanding, it is unrealistic to think that effective rules can be established to regulate their use.

So what are children doing on the internet?

Practices that are ultimately very traditional

The top three uses of the internet cited by 11- to 18-year-olds should reassure parents, as they are ultimately traditional activities: 

• Talk with friends or family
• Watch videos
• Discussing classes and assignments

In addition, studies show that children generally understand the basic rules for protecting themselves online: don't share your password, think about what you post to protect your privacy, etc.

Children, however, may have a different view of these rules than adults. Some share their passwords with friends as a sign of trust; others define privacy differently than their parents.

But that doesn't mean that children act online without being aware of the risks and without taking any steps to protect themselves.

Specifically, what risk are we talking about?

I usually group the risks that children may encounter online into three categories.

1.Inappropriate content and encounters

This refers to content that is unsuitable for children or even harmful. This includes violent or pornographic content, as well as anything related to gambling or the consumption of addictive substances, whether illegal or not.

Obviously, the list of these contents will vary depending on the child's age. You don't watch the same content at age 8 as you do at age 15.

I include bad encounters in this category because, from the child's point of view, the mechanism is the same: they interact with people they shouldn't be associating with, just as they view content they shouldn't be seeing.

2. Regrets for later

I am referring here to content posted online by children that they may one day regret.

Everything we post online leaves behind virtually indelible traces that paint an imperfect and often caricatured portrait of ourselves. But we are not the same people at age 13 as we are at age 25. Our tastes, values, and social circles evolve, and we may easily regret our online activity a few years later.

It is therefore crucial to guarantee children a right of remorse, allowing them to effectively remove traces left online during their childhood.

3. Business models that are harmful to children's healthy development

A whole section of the internet is based on what is known as the attention economy, i.e. the economic valuation of the time spent by an internet user on a particular service through the creation of an advertising profile and the display of advertisements.

To achieve this, the goal of many social networks and apps is to keep users on their platform for as long as possible, encourage them to return as often as possible, and get them to produce or react to content.

There are many mechanisms for this, all based on an action/reward system: I post content / I get likes; I log in regularly / I gain followers.

All of this is highly addictive, which is particularly harmful to children as it leads to concentration and learning difficulties, sleep problems, relationship issues, etc.

What is the role of the parent in all this?

Faced with all these findings, parents often feel helpless. They find it increasingly difficult to monitor their children's online activity, especially since each child has their own phone, which means they are constantly connected, even without their parents' knowledge.

I therefore suggest a three-step method to help you support your child as best as possible in their use of the internet or phone.

• Take a deep breath

It may come as a surprise, but the first step is to relax. Above all, you have to learn to trust children because, as I said earlier, they are aware that certain risks exist and try to protect themselves.

Your children are open to the idea of protecting their privacy online and are aware that they need to follow certain rules for their own good.

• We talk as a family

Once you have completed the first step, it is time to have a discussion: what does your child do online? Why? What do they enjoy about it? Why is it so important to them?

Answering all the questions will help you understand it better and avoid setting rules that are completely unrealistic and would have no chance of being followed.

But it will also show your child that your goal is not to restrict them but to support them. Without this, the rules you set will never be followed.

• Certain rules are established

Once this discussion has taken place, rules can be set. The important thing is to do this together so that your child will respect them. Don't kid yourself—if they don't want to comply, they will always find a way to hide their online activity from you. So these rules must be adopted together!

They will be specific to each household, but here are some examples: no phone in their room or after a certain time, no photos of their room or face online, no public profile on social media.

I wish you all the best with this issue, which is clearly not an easy one in today's households. Please feel free to contact me to discuss this further!